Ok, here's the situation, I'm 27 years old and I have a major crush on my co-worker. Well, I'm not going to even say a crush, I like her, a lot. But of course there's a major obstacle between me and the woman of my dreams( that was childish, I know). She has a boyfriend. Now usually I won't interfere with a happy couple, but like a shark in the water I sense a wounded fish(Ok, that was a super bad example, let's just say I sense a disturbance in the force). Lately I've been hearing nothing but bad things about her dude. Mind you, I haven't been prying into the relationship, this is information that she keeps giving me. And nope, I haven't been hating on the guy or saying anything bad. I do say nothing, I just listen. I'm not saying that the guy is a bad guy, but I do since that he is taking her for granted. What's that saying, "One man's trash is another man's treasure." Surely he's forgotten he has a treasure chest of gold!
I mean we hangout together and have fun; which has been making me think, "How come I got so much access to her?" Where is her dude? It's not like I'm doing anything spectacular, I'm just doing small things that friends do. I notice small things like when she gets her nails done and I compliment her on it. Small things that he should be doing. Truthfully I don't know what's going on, and I don't know if she even has a slight idea that I like her. Hell, I might be knee deep in the friendship ZONE! I'm just letting things unfold without making things weird or uncomfortable. Again I refuse to hate on her guy because he might be a good guy that has just gotten complacent.
I'm interested to here what everyone thinks. I'm interested to know if anyone else has been in my situation. I don't want to ruin our friendship and I really don't want things to be weird at work, but I also don't want to miss out. I feel I deserve a great woman like her. WHAT THE HELL SHOULD I DO?
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4 comments:
Considering the fact she has a guy and knows that he's not what she wants but she's still with him says a lot. She may not be happy with her current situation but she's not unhappy enough to leave either. Right now you may be that breath of fresh air that she wants or you may just be the "in the mean time, in between time" convenience. Maybe you should ask her why she continues to stay with someone that doesn't treat her right. Her situation is too fickle for you to put yourself out there like that.
It seems like it would be helpful to know if she considers you to be a good guy or nice guy. A good guy has potential to take her from her current guy by just being him and doing what he do. He’s not out to make any extravagant moves until she makes hers first. He is kind hearted, sincere, genuine but usually doesn’t fall for the okey doke. A nice guy is usually gullible with some of the same qualities but he'll become her "do" boy. He thinks that by her confiding into him she’s placed trust in him and hopes he will rescue her from her situation but it’s actually just the opposite. She’s not attracted to him but she’s attracted to what he can and will do and the more she gets him or her side, the more he’ll be inclined to continue to do for her
I said all that to say watch your actions to her responses bcuz she may be coming off to you as a wounded fish in the sea when actually she has other objectives.
I have been that woman, so let me tell you exactly what is going on...
She is aware that her boyfriend isn't treating her right & wants to move on, BUT...something is holding her back. It could be the fact that she doesn't want to be alone or maybe that they have a long history. Either way, I think that she is attracted to you. She spends time with you, tells you intimate details about her relationship without you asking...It doesn't necessarily mean that she is interested in talking to you right now, but I think the opportunity to explore this situation is open. You still have to respect her relationship, but by being a friend to her & not bad-mouthing ol' boy...you are doing alot more than you think. Patience is the key. A good woman will recognize a good man.
I THINK YOU SHOULD BE PERSISTENT, BUT KEEP IT ON THE FRIENDSHIP LEVEL. YOU NEVER KNOW, ONE DAY SHE MIGHT GET REALLY PISSED WITH HER MAN AND END UP AT YOUR PLACE. BUT THAT IS THE BEST START OF A RELATIONSHIP AND A FUTURE WITH SOMEONE IS BEING FRIENDS FIRST.
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